I was working on an identity project yesterday for my wife's cottage business and stumbled onto an interesting illustration. As I was resizing a bluebird sketch on the copy machine some of the ambient lines took on a landscape look and feel. I scanned the drawing into Photoshop and did some manipulation and added some color. Maybe it has potential for a painting. The Xerox photoshop style has some potential too.
As I finish my next painting I have a few thoughts about the process of creating. For me the act of creating is just something I have to do. It happens to be the most frustrating and at the same time most rewarding thing I do. But my biggest hurdle has been defeating the blank page or just getting started. That empty void staring back at me has always been a huge struggle for me to overcome. I find myself procrastinating every time I begin a new work. I’ll get a cup of coffee, take the dog out, clean my studio, run out to get more paint, wash my brushes, take a walk part of the problem stems from the fact that I think every time I lay a brush to canvas it must be this perfect stroke instead of just letting the process happen. What I should do is learn from the process and not take the act of creating so seriously and allow myself to fail. Failing shouldn’t be such a surprise to me either since I do so much of it. I always learn from failing so I guess I should embrace it not avoid it. Easier said than done. This procrastination can be stifling and keeps me from being proficient and this is why I am still working on the same painting I started over a month ago. I envy the real artists that can just turn out painting after painting like breathing. Check this out.
For me it’s more like drowning always struggling for a breath and finally pulling myself onto the shore exhausted and needing a month to recover before I dive back in. It’s always been that way for me and probably always will.